Perfectly Imperfect – One of ‘those’ PMS moments…
What if there are days when you wake up raging, when your rational mind wants to take a hike and your brain feels full of molten lava? What if you feel like the most unfeminine, ungraceful mess, dangerous to human contact in that moment? What if we as a women want to just be by ourselves with nature and feel free, or even just stay at home and feel free to simply stay home and listen to music.
And what if that moment is just a moment when life, the planets, or a garden gnome are stirring up old stories in your body and your only job is to let them simply pass through? And eventually, in their own time, they kindly exit the building. And what if at the end of this volatile expulsion, even in a state of exhaustion, you actually feel a sense of peace, even freedom?
You allowed the truth of that moment. You didn’t spew your rage at your loved ones – even though they did get a text illuminating your feelings of frustration at the world – you didn’t put the blame on them or any others around you. You didn’t try and stop it, suppress it in it’s tracks, you just lay there, in a state of ‘fuck it!’, quietly allowing the full force of ‘whatever it was’, this pure realness of gurgling rapture to actually move through you. That once buried part of you is now gone, leaving you that much lighter, that much clearer, that much more grounded and that much more amused at the dynamics of life.
In one of ‘those’ moments I realized the full value of PMS. I realized that as long as you keep yourself away from sharp objects and beautiful people in ‘those’ moments, you can save yourself a fortune in therapy. It’s ‘those’ moments that are crying out for space every time you start to feel a slight niggle of irritability. It’s ‘those’ moments that are essential to acknowledge as they pass through your being and allow your authentic, beautiful self to build in strength. Eventually after many essential descents to the underworld ‘those’ moments will become lighter and lighter as we unravel the thread of our life story, our lineage story and the greater feminine story. It’s those moments that allow the joy and appreciation of being a woman to finally be recognized. I am grateful that I am sensitive enough to get a good universal kick up the ass whenever I try to bullshit myself; even though I have tried very hard over the years. I love the fact I finally have the courage to really let go.