Self-Obsession & Self-Nurturing: A Fine Line

For many generations western principles have encouraged us to either strive for power and recognition, or to give of ourselves until we are depleted. Yet these concepts are clearly not working for us.

Today life is no longer primitive, we are surrounded by high-tech gadgets and specialized health and beauty treatments. We no longer have to rely on our neighbors, we can simply pay for any services needed. We appear to be completely self reliant for the first time in history.

Society has become so efficient that if one seeks help for depression, the doctor will hand you a little box of white pills to take your problems away. The same as a gynecologist will do for any of a hundred problems.

And now we have time and money to spend on facials and expensive supplements that guarantee our longevity. We have also become proud that our self-pampering treatments are no longer to please others, they are for ourselves.

But are we now happier and healthier?Are all of these fandangled tools helping us to be fulfilled and thriving? Even though we are giving ourselves more time for health and healing, are we really changing old patterns or are we simply masking them?

0ddaa63aeb00749d1f14135983212181Our society holds a big fear imprint that if we allow people to be vulnerable this means nothing will function. But look at our world… we have created a self obsessed busy race, where nothing really functions! Advertising does a great job of not just selling us pamper products, but encouraging us to stay distracted from the real issues. Whether through eating disorders, make-overs or plastic surgery, we have redirected our deeper discord onto the only thing we think we feel we have control over… our own bodies.

Yet we are not powerless anymore. When we stop, breath and feel, we can allow our deeper story to come to the surface and we can change it. It just takes a little courage to fall into these vulnerable places.

Massaging our own bodies is deeply nurturing. Yet it may bring up feelings of discomfort and self-judgement. If we move through that we can get to a place of appreciation for our bodies, for everything they have been through and how strong and beautiful they really are. This appreciation can blossom into appreciating more about ourselves on every level.

Women are complex; emotionally, physically, hormonally and spiritually and for good reason. We hold the gift of creative evolution inside our bodies! We need to be fluid enough to respond to the new energy of each day. We help the world move forward, reinvent itself and avoid rigid stagnation. Yet we are still judging ourselves for our complexity, when we should be celebrating it! That is our strength, it is our truth and it has been stripped away and replaced with medication to control our moods. How can we be happy with our own bodies when society does not honour the place our bodies hold within the cycle of life? It is time that we begin to value our ‘womanness’ for everything that it is. Our bodies are always shifting and changing, they are showing us the story of life, they are telling us when things are working and when they are not.

The day we have space to say; “I don’t like wearing high heals,” “I hate having to obsess over my weight,”“I’m not happy with the way my husband and I make love,”  “I don’t want to have babies,” “I feel judged,” “My vagina is dry and I don’t know what to do,”  “I’m not happy in my job,” “I want to learn to sculp,” “I’m depressed and I don’t know what I should do with my life.” The day we have space to express our raw truth, accept ourselves for just being ourselves and not have pressure to be a mother, a wife, a gym fanatic and an over-achiver, is the day our self-obsession will begin to melt away. This is the day our relationship to our own bodies will become nourishing and we will begin to learn what loving ourselves really means.

If we listen to our body, we can navigate life simply, no obsessions, no fuss, just tweaking each time something needs a little attention and for the rest… get on with living! Give yourself what you really need, not what is socially acceptable. Find what you really love, not what fits into your schedule. You have the right to be happy.  Let go of the control. Have a good cry, crumble into a puddle, then pick yourself up, dry your tears, grab your reigns and enjoy the ride!

 

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