We are born with one body; one beautiful, intelligent, dynamic, body that allows us to experience all the joyful sensations of this life.
The body is more resilient than you could ever imagine. It can do processes that show miracles exist. The body is like a filing cabinet, it holds on to the story of our life, including all the unprocessed fear, guilt, shame, anger and resentment.
We judge our body when:
- We have lost our inspiration for life.
- We have been judged by our loved ones.
- We feel a sense of shame.
- We feel we are not doing things the way they ‘should’ be.
- We believe we should look like someone we are not.
- We are suffering from depression.
- The body is physically and visually expressing health imbalances such as reproductive disorders, old injuries, digestive disorders, thyroid disorders, adrenal fatigue and so many other possible cries for help.
- We are dealing with environmental, emotional, spiritual or mental overwhelm.
- We feel guilty for exploring our own passion.
- We want others to like us.
- We are not looking ‘perfect’ after birthing a baby.
- We do not have any time for ourselves in life.
- Our relationship with our partner has unspoken, unresolved problems.
- We feel judged by others.
So why are women still dealing with the deep, destructive process of judging and dissecting their own bodies?
If enough people say blue is red, the next generation believes blue is red. When abusive behavior towards women continues from one generation to the next, it becomes normal and infiltrates the society as a distorted perception of truth. This eventually results in women simply inflicting abuse upon themselves. Society can then turn around and declare women are now seen as equal, but until women have healed this wound within themselves this is not true. We keep ourselves suppressed.
We can’t just ‘get one with things’, we need to recreate a healthy relationship to every level of our femininity, but first we need to discover what the healthy feminine is and that is no simple task.
We have not yet embraced the real woman, with her full spectrum of reality, from intuitive responses and emotional expression (that usually happen for a good reason, but do not and cannot be explained with logic), post baby difficulties, hormonal havoc, emotional trauma and waxing and waning energy levels, food cravings, sexual individualities, inspirations and lateral thought processes.
Women do not fit in a box or a rigid structure, we are like water, we flow with a unique response to our internal and external reality, every moment different from the last. Our bodies are the complete expression of our entirety, getting mad at them does not help us heal!
It’s time to acknowledge that a little self-compassion and surrender into what is right here, right now, could get us a long way in finding our emotional and psychological freedom. Each one of us holds the patterns of our ancestors, the obvious patterns and the insidious one’s. The way we look and the way our body functions, goes far beyond what food we eat and what exercise we do, it is shaped by our entire story, lineage, environment, relationships, psyche and all.
For a woman to feel connected to herself, her loved ones and to nature she needs to know her own trust. Trust is her anchor and her mast in this world, it is her center, her point of knowingness. Trust is something we learn from a young age, but it completely depends on the environment we were raised in. For many of us that ability to trust ourselves and life was always well instilled.
For must of us we were taught that it is more important to fit into a box than to trust our own way. Now would be a good moment to burn that box.
It is so easy for us to hate our own bodies, to believe that life would be perfect if we looked perfect. This is something strongly upheld by society today. But the reality is that we only really look beautiful when we feel beautiful. That the only way to change the way we look is to nurture ourselves on all levels, to slowly find a way of honoring our own spectacular hearts.
Healing our Body Relationship
And yes, this is a process, there is no quick fix. The key is starting with something simple, something small that quickly becomes a normal part of our lives.
The easiest way to break fixation with obsessive body judgment or from anything for that fact is to simply focus on beauty and the thriving life outside. Nature and creativity are some of our greatest healing tools. We are part of nature and we thrive in nature; it is our home. Sitting inside buildings, in front of a screen, under fake lights feeds the energy of disconnect.
- Get outside, walk on the beach or in the forest, admire and love the miracle of life. Grow a veggie garden and dance in the rain.
- If you are inside put on music that sings to your soul, make beautiful, nourishing organic food, take a long bath with candles, essential oils and rose petals.
- Get a canvas and play with paints finger painting like a child.
- Massage your own body with nourishing coconut oil or cacao butter, infusing healing love for yourself, thanking your body for all that it has done for you, for carrying through this life.
- Decorate your home with beautiful, uplifting, handmade paintings, fabrics and crafts that bring warmth to your being.
- Bring plants into your home, giving them love every day.
- Find something creative that you would love to explore, a lump of clay or a pen and paper are easy places to start.
- Write whatever poetic words that flow through your head, or any words for that matter.
- And dance to your favorite music every night!
Having a healthy self image is about freedom; freedom to choose, freedom to do what you want no matter how whacky it is, freedom to take risks, freedom to step outside the box, freedom to connect with your heart no matter how much hurt needs to be released, freedom to know you are strong, freedom to change jobs, freedom to not have children if you don’t want to, freedom to say no if you are not in the mood for sex, freedom to play no matter how silly we look!